


Attack of the Killer Snow Goons

by Bittersweet



Series: Johnny Gaudreau's Bag of Magic Pranks [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Edmonton Oilers, Gen, Snowmen, magic hats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bittersweet/pseuds/Bittersweet
Summary: Snowmen have come to life and it's up to the Oilers to stop them!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This continues Flyingintospace's Connor the Snowman where it left off. It can be read as a stand alone but certain things might make more sense if you read Connor the Snowman first.

“How are you feeling?” Leon asked Connor sympathetically as they were leaving the arena.

“Better,” Connor said. “I’m sorry for freaking out on everyone,” he apologized.

“Dude you were turned into a snowman, I think if ever anyone had a right to freak out it’s you.”

“Yeah but—” Connor jumped in surprise as a snowball thwacked against the wall, just barely missing his head.

“What the—” Leon started.

“Get down!” Ryan’s voice shouted across the parking lot.

Leon and Connor hit the ground, crawling behind a pillar for cover as more snowballs pelted the wall where they had just been standing.

“Guys!” Jordan shouted waving to them from behind a snowbank that the snowplows had created. “Are you okay?” He ducked back behind the bank as he was bombarded with snowballs.

“We’re fine!” Leon shouted back. “What the hell is going on?”

“Ryan’s going to create a distraction! When I say go run over here! Ready? Go!”

Leon and Connor exchanged a look and then raced for the snowbank while Ryan darted out from behind the bank throwing snowballs of his own. Leon leapt over the bank, sliding into cover only a few seconds behind Connor. Once they were in Ryan threw one last snowball and rejoined them.

“There’s more of them Ebs,” Ryan said worriedly.

“They’re not wasting any time, are they.”

“Guys seriously,” Leon said. “Tell us what’s going on.”

“What’s out there?” Connor asked curiously.

Ryan and Jordan exchanged a look.

“We put the hat on the snowman we made earlier!” Ryan blurted out.

“And it came to life!” Jordan added.

“And now it’s making others like it!”

“How can it make more like itself?” Connor whispered as they all peered over the edge of the snowbank and saw nine or ten large snowmen shuffling about.

“Who knows how the magic of the hat works,” Jordan whispered back. “The important thing is if we don’t figure out how to stop them the entire city is going to be overrun by derange mutant killer monster snow goons!”

They slid back down behind the snowbank.

“So how do we stop them?” Connor asked.

“Ryan and I were talking about that. We turned you back by taking the hat off so if we can get close enough to the original snow goon and take the hat from it maybe the rest of them will turn back to normal too.”

“Only downside is, how do we get close to the original snow goon?”

They peered over the edge of the bank again.

“Whatever we do we’d better do it quick,” Connor said. “If every snow goon makes another like it we’re going to be overrun in no time.”

“I think I’ve got an idea,” Leon said staring at the parking lot where several cars, including his own, were parked. “But I’m going to need you guys to cover me so I can get there.”

“Leon no!” Connor objected. “If the snow goons catch you you’re a gonner!”

“Then I guess I’ll have to make sure they don’t catch me.” Leon grinned and vaulted over the edge of the snowbank, racing across the icy parking lot.

“Shit!” Connor swore as he and Jordan scrambled to make more snowballs, Ryan pelting the snow goons with what they had left.

Leon made it to his car, thankful for the automatic unlock on his keys, and slid into the drivers’ seat. Two of the snow goons had broken away from the others and were shuffling towards him. A barrage of snowballs hit his windshield as he gunned the engine and sped right at the two snow goons, plowing through them and speeding towards the bank in a shower of snow.

“Get in!” he shouted as the others jumped over the top of the snowbank and slid into the car. He barely waited for the doors to close before the car was barreling straight into the centre of the widening circle of snow goons.

“What’s the plan?” Jordan asked.

“Keep an eye out for the original snow goon; we’re going to ram him and knock his hat off!”

Everyone cheered as they deked around a group of snow goons that were trying to form a wall in front of them.

“There he is!” Ryan shouted pointing out the window to the left.

Leon’s car fishtailed as several snow goons slammed into the side.

“How do I open the sunroof?” Connor asked as Leon fought to keep the car under control and moving towards their target as more of the snow goons threw themselves against the car.

“It’s the middle of winter and we’re surrounded by snow goons!” Leon said. “Maybe not the best time for sun bathing!”

“Just trust me!”

Leon glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and punched a button on the dash. The sun roof whirred and slid open.

“Are you crazy?” Jordan demanded as Connor pulled himself up through the sun roof. “Get back in the car!”

“Just keep it steady!” he shouted back down as he struggled to keep his balance. “Can you get a little closer?”

“I’m trying!” Leon shouted but the car was being overwhelmed by snow goons and he was having a hard time keeping from spinning out.

If Connor was going to take this chance he would have to take it soon. Connor hoped he was close enough. He crouched, steadying himself, then sprang forward, flying through the air towards the original snow goon. The snow goons turned to try and stop Connor but they were too late as Connor tackled the original snow goon. They crashed to the ground and the hat tumbled off to lay harmlessly on the snow. Connor got to his feet and brushed himself off as the others rushed from the car to join him and they looked around to survey the damage.

“Well we can’t say we didn’t make a thorough job of it,” Jordan said. There were only a few snow goons, now lifeless, still standing. The rest were scattered in varying stages of decimation.

“Hey Connor,” Ryan said laughing. “Nice hat trick!”

The others looked at him and groaned.

“What are you guys doing out here?” Kassian asked coming up behind them unexpectedly.

“Um,” Jordan said trying to come up with an explanation.

“We were attacked by killer snow goons,” Ryan explained.

Kassian stared at them. “And you didn’t invite me?”

**Author's Note:**

> Also inspired by the wonderful Calvin and Hobbes!


End file.
